Brutal ‘quiet quitting’ dating trend sees you ditch blokes without having to dump them
Written by ABC AUDIO on November 10, 2022
A dating expert confessed she uses the “quiet quitting” technique to end relationships – it’s pretty brutal, but it saves you the problem of having to dump someone.
Jana Hocking opened up out the dating style in her latest column for news.com.au, and she said she’s seen men do it too.
In a nutshell “quiet quitting” is the new term for putting minimum effort in.
The technique basically sees someone taking a step right back from commitment.
As Jana put it, she’d go on a couple of dates with someone, enjoy spending time with them, but then find something else to keep herself occupied and “quietly quit” out of the relationship.
She said distractions can come in a variety of forms, but she knows it happens a lot when it comes to her dating life.
What’s more is she said she thinks a lot of other people are probably doing the same, because you can get to a point where you become undecided about the person you’re dating.
Even if things start out great, sparks can sometimes fade pretty quickly, and you can get the urge to quietly slip away.
Jana wrote: “It’s different to ghosting.
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“You’re not just disappearing in a cloud of (rude) smoke – you’re still texting back, but without the same enthusiasm, like responding without a question to avoid the texts turning into a conversation.
“Yep, you’re basically putting in the bare minimum.
“You see, you don’t want to be rude, and you’re not certain you want to end it, so you just keep it lukewarm.
“This might seem outrageous, but I think it’s nicer than dumping said date – especially when you’re still in the early stages of dating that don’t really require an ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ chat.”
Jana said it gets to a point where you both sort of “read the room”, and then decide to part slowly and subtly.
It doesn’t mean you can’t hook up again at a later date, but if it’s not working for you it’s a way of quietly exiting the situation.
She also said that sometimes being “super boring” is a good way to stop someone from wanting your attention.
It can save a lot of shouting and drama that can happen when things become tense between a couple.
Now let me take it one step further … perhaps it’s worth quiet quitting dating in general … at least for a little while. Earlier this year I went on a bit of a dating bonanza.
I was desperately trying to get over an ex and decided dating new peeps would be the key to my success. Except it was a disaster; no bloke matched up to my ex (who I still had on a pedestal) and I got serious burnout from going on dates and feeling absolutely diddly squat for any of them.
So, I quiet quit the dating scene. I didn’t make a grand announcement that I was out of the dating game, I just shut my apps down for a while, stopped locking in dates when my heart wasn’t in it, and basically did the bare minimum when it came to finding my significant other.
It was exactly what I needed, and I spent that alone time actually healing and mourning the end of a dud relationship. So sure, quiet quitting might sound a bit selfish and a bit lazy, but what’s so wrong with stepping back and getting some perspective for a while.
